Blame Facebook

Sorry for the gap in blog posts. It's all Facebook's fault. Facebook ate my notes, so I can't get to my 50 random things. I'll keep trying to rescue them in order to have fodder for future blog posts. Otherwise you'll have to put up with whatever happens to be floating around in my head at the moment. Scary.

11. New York CITY!?

I've never been to New York City, and I'm ok with that.

I have nothing against New York City. I don't think it is overrated. I think it has many wonderful things to offer visitors and residents. Sure, I'd like to do a tour of Manhattan: see a Broadway show, visit Chelsea Market (since I'm obsessed with Food Network), take a stroll in Central Park, window shop on 5th Avenue, have a seizure in Time Square, and enjoy an authentic NY bagel, hot dog, and pizza slice. I just don't feel like an incomplete person having never done these things.

I certainly wouldn't turn down an opportunity to visit the Big Apple, it's just not a personal life goal at the moment. Maybe it's like having kids: you never really know what you are missing until you do it. I guess I can live with that for now.

10. The Candy Woman Can

Who can resist candy? As Alton Brown says, "show me someone who doesn't like candy and I'll show you someone just South of trustworthy."

In high school I worked at Kilwin's in St. Joe Michigan. It was more than your average ice cream parlor in a touristy area by Lake Michigan because we made real Macknic Island fudge in the store! We even had the big copper kettle and marble slabs in the front window so people could watch the show! I paddled and formed my way through more pounds of fudge than I care to recall while I worked there. I also learned to make caramel for gourmet caramel apples (truly works of art!), caramel corn, and various brittles.

While I already liked to cook and bake, I fell in love with candy making because it is pure science: exact ingredients, exact temperatures, and exact procedures yield a perfect batch of fudge/caramel/peanut brittle every time. Sure, it takes some time and undivided attention, but the end result is so worth it. I especially loved packaging freshly made fudge or caramel corn off the marble slab and seeing the "I must have that!" look in the customer's eyes.

Candy making is a great hobby (or would be if I had the time and kitchen space for it), but someday I would love to study it further and possibly make a career shift in that direction. While I doubt I would ever become a master sugar sculpter, make complex chocolate masterpieces, or be the next Willy Wonka, it would be fun rekindling an old passion and savoring the results along the way.

9. Shorts Are Evil

It's quite simple really: my legs should never see the light of day. So any article of clothing that showcases them is inherently evil and I hate them.

I wear them when I have to: sporting events, intense cleaning or home repair sessions, etc. But by and large, shorts are probably the worst fashion invention in the history of time. I'd rather wear a skirt or sweat to death in a pair of jeans.

I don't even own a pair of non-athletic shorts right now. I bought a pair of maternity shorts when I was pregnant with my son thinking that maybe my growing belly would distract people from the two giant white monstrosities that were propping me up.

Not so much.

For all of you out there who actually enjoy wearing shorts (weirdos), more power to you.

I Blog for Rich

So ... I fell off the blogging bandwagon ... hard. Sure, I could tell you about how busy I've been lately and recount in painful detail all of the things that have pushed blogging from the back burner off the stove completely, but I won't. I will simply say that I'm ready to get up, dust off, and try again.

Why?

Because I blog for Rich.

See, Rich is leaving tomorrow for a long-term mission project in Africa. Even though we haven't lived in the same state for years, something about him being that far away for that long has motivated me to renew my commitment to blogging. Not that anything I have to say is so profound that it will instantly quell any feelings of homesickness Rich is sure to have in the coming months. But perhaps some random rambling of mine will make him laugh and serve as a little piece of home for the moment.

And I challenge my fellow bloggers wallowing in the dust left by the blogging bandwagon to do the same! I guess you could say I'm "throwing down." :-) Let's all blog for Rich (and Maya, Chris, Kathy, Matt, Josh, Becca too) so we can stay connected while worlds apart.

Safe travels and Godspeed!

8. Ludicrous Speed

Picking a favorite band might be complicated for me, but picking a favorite movie most definitely is not.

Spaceballs. Hands down.

Yes, Spaceballs. As in President Scroob, flying Winnebago, Pizza the Hut, "may the Schwartz be with you" Spaceballs.

I don't even remember seeing Spaceballs for the first time. Since it was made in 1987, I was probably 6 or so. I didn't understand half of the jokes until recently, but still found it rather entertaining and obviously quite memorable. The quotes alone are priceless! "What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? Chickennn?" Genius!

But how could such a silly movie captivate me for over two decades? It's quite simple really: 1) Mel Brooks is a comic genius, and 2) I am a sucker for slapstick parody movies.

I know this is completely subjective and impossible to prove, but I don't really feel that the first point requires any explanation. Mel Brooks is one of the funniest men of our time. His jokes are timeless, and I appreciate how he complete immerses himself into a movie (writing, acting, directing, probably setting a few lights here and there ...). There are other funny people in this world, but Mel Brooks is at the top of my list when it comes to movies.

Second, when I am looking to be entertained I want to laugh. I don't want to cry, think, be grossed out or scared. I don't want to watch a movie that stresses me out or makes me want to cover my eyes the entire time. When I remember what I watched I want to laugh, not wretch. I think I especially enjoy parodies because they make fun of movies that take themselves entirely too seriously. I'm all about that in pretty much every aspect of my life!

So what did we find out about Rachel today? I suppose you could say, "We ain't found ..."

7. Epic Fail

There are certain abilities that I think are very sacred. They are abilities that you cultivate very carefully because failing while doing them could be at best embarrassing and at worst deadly, especially when other people are involved.

Driving is by far a person's most sacred ability. I judge a person's character pretty heavily on how they drive: too slow, too fast, just generally unobservant of other people ... I think all of these driving styles can say a lot about a person!

I fancy myself a good driver. I'm careful yet aggressive when I need to be, and can have a pretty colorful vocabulary when people around me aren't driving in a manner I find appropriate. I've never been in a serious accident (a couple fender benders, apparently I have issues with right turn ramps) and never gotten a ticket. Sure I've had my share of "run-ins" with inanimate objects other than cars (I prefer brightly colored objects like fire hydrants and poles in parking structures). It takes a lot to unnerve me when I'm driving by myself. But for whatever reason when I am hauling others I get all nervous and make small but stupid mistakes.

I guess I'm OK with failing in private, or at least not in front of people I know. But if I were to ever get into an accident, get pulled over, or hit an inanimate or animate object with someone else in my car, I would absolutely die of embarrassment.

That is a pretty bold statement because it takes A LOT to embarrass me. I can trip and fall in public, jump back up, drop a witty remark, and keep walking like nothing happened! I willingly divulge embarrassing facts about myself in everyday conversation! Don't believe me? My bedroom was so messy growing up that my sister and brother once found a petrified piece of cheese under my bed. Howdya like me now? :-)

Luckily I've never had to find out just how embarrassed I would be if I made a major mistake while driving with other people in my car. But it begs a deeper question: why can't I just accept the fact that I'm human and I'm going to make mistakes at everything I do? I don't mind screwing up other stuff like walking and basic cleanliness. Why is driving so different?

6. Math

I don't like doing things that I am not naturally good at. I don't like falling, failing, or asking stupid questions. That goes for pretty much everything (rollerblading, skiing, making grilled cheese, etc.) but most especially math.

I fully admit it: I gave up on math. When I was a freshman in college I took precalculus and earned my first C. I followed that up with the statistics class required of all business students and earned my second C. That was about enough for me. Besides, when was I ever going to need or want to know this stuff anyway? Isn't that why God created calculators?

Later in college I worked for the math department and started hanging out with math tutors and grad students. At first I laughed at them having arguments in front of chalkboards about some theorem I had only maybe heard of. But then I realized that had I worked harder and gone further in math, I probably would have been able to contribute to their conversation. More importantly, I would probably be a more rounded person.

But, I didn't. No regrets, but I've learned two important facts: it's never too late to learn math, and some things that don't come naturally are still worth learning how to do.

Except skiing, which is inherently evil and should never be done by anyone ever.